Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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