A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
