oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
