At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
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