You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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