I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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