Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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