Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
