Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
