When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
