this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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