I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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