Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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