Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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