The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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