I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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