felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
