The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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