Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
