she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
