smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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