apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
