I cockslap morals
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
