It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
