worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
