let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
