"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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