it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
