How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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