dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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