Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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