She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
