They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How naked do you want me to be?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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