Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
