I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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