now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
