Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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