i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i out mim tonsoeep
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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