dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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