My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
