I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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