time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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