If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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