You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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