he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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