The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
