so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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