I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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