I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
