Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize