He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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