I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
