Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
