just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
