I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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