Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
