I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
