I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Did I show you my penis last night?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
