He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize