My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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