he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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