I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
