can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I touched a dick in church today
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize